I spend some time web surfing and ran into a post that discussed things only women with tattoos would every understand. The post was ok but the comments were actually interesting. There were several comments about how people shouldn’t judge a particular lady as a skank for her tattoos (although her bra was actually the main point of contention there, with most of it’s leopard print showing) and then they got side tracked off into rape culture and of course there was the obligatory asshole style comments like “half the chicks walking around with tats are mostly spoiled hipster douchebags or just jumpin on the bandwagon to be trendy. they dont understand shit and never will.” Because some people don’t like their little club to be invaded by others and so must push people they find unacceptable out.
Everyone faces prejudices. It is what you do with them.
Racism-As a white woman, I have to defend my choices in the classroom against black parents who accuse me of being racist.
Racism-It has been insinuated more than once that my accomplishments in schooling and life would not have been possible if I wasn’t raised white.
Sexism/ageism-I have been treated as dumb and not taken seriously in discussions about philosophy, teaching, and car maintenance because I am not as well spoken as I could be and I look young for my age and when it comes to cars, I am a girl, what could I know.
Body size (large breasts)- I have had to deal with women being uncomfortable around me for having the cup size I have. Even when I have the ladies tucked in and away I still deal with comments from friends about how HUGE and MASSIVE they are and how I am always showing them off. I actually believe my weight gain in part was an unconscious attempt to hide my female form and shake some of the attention away from it.
Body size (Being a 16)- at 200 lbs I walked into a plus size store (torrid) and was given quite a few rude looks from employees. I was ignored and when I finally found a manager to ask about applying for a job there, was told I wasn’t big enough. I stopped buying shirts from them after that.
Body size (Being an 8-10)- There was a while where I couldn’t get gas without some man coming up to me to flirt. It didn’t matter what I wore or if I was on the phone and some of them were quite rude when I said I wasn’t interested. I told I must think I was better than them or that I was a bitch when I simply said right out front that “I’m not interested but thank you”
My convertible/being a woman- God forbid I drive with the top down on that thing when I don’t want to deal with at least one guy cat calling out to me. I can look like shit and just be trying to listen to talk radio.. I mean talk radio my goodness and usually a young teenager but sometimes older men will catcall and say hey Red ect. Same rude responses when I say I’m not interested as the men at the gas station.
When I was dating I tried to use an online dating site. If I didn’t want to meet with a man I was a tease or a bitch. If I responded to soon I must want sex and if I didn’t have a chance to respond I was a slut. Men acted as if I owed them my attention and time and a few women acted as if I didn’t know my own sexual preferences at my age.
Today, the trigger things people like to spout off are things like “rape culture”, “white privilege”, “microracism” all are ways to define behavior we see in our culture but they do not address the biggest problem. What to do about it. I will be aware of my behaviors around people so I elicit the response I want from them (I’ve been called manipulative for that) as I assume everyone who wants to live their life in society does. I think this attitude of “I do what I want, when I want, how I want and you’d better treat me like a god/goddess” is ridiculous and not something I will fall into.
I have been a bit concerned about being viewed as trailer park trash for my decision to give up living in my apartment and move towards trailers but as I read all these comments about the “isms” we face daily, I realize that I am going to deal with people judging me for that the same way I have dealt with everything else in my life. If I feel they are worth the time and might be interested, I will explain how this life choice is a freeing one for me and that I am not only saving money, but excited about this new direction. For those people who just wanna judge, I am going to let them, because nothing I can say will change their mind and they want to live in their little box. And guess what, that’s ok too.
Live your life to make yourself happy and hopefully the rest will fall in line.