Losing Stuff, Around My Middle

I made a decision to lose weight and get healthier a few years after I was done with college. I felt self conscious, unhappy, unhealthy and like I needed some changes in my life. I wasn’t sure why I was so unhappy with myself. I was dating a very nice man, I had a job that for the most part I loved, I have good relations with my family and life was not bad at all. The best thing I could come up with was that I was unhappy with my weight.

To give you some perspective..

If you follow my blog regularly, you see that I am working out quite frequently but what I haven’t talked about is how I went down 50 pounds at first. I did the HCG treatments through the doctor with my mother. Both she and I spent a considerable amount of money getting shots that allowed our calorie deprived bodies to think that they were pregnant so the body would pull the fat off of areas instead of going into starvation mode. There is some more science around it that I am fully explaining but basically you eat 800 or so calories each day and only eat certain items. It wasn’t fun but it was scarily effective. My mother and I lost about 50 pounds in two months.

After that, I very carefully watched what I ate and made life about calories, ended up breaking up with my very sweet boyfriend and trying to figure out why I was still unhappy. I was thin, didn’t that mean I was supposed to feel good and happy? Instead, I fought allergies that actually stopped my abilities to breath more than once. I still felt miserable and I just didn’t know what to do. I didn’t go back up in weight to much at that point but there was a small climb.

In about a year, I hadn’t started working out yet and had put back on 20 of the pounds I had lost, I still felt lost and I was generally struggling with a profound disappointment in how my personal life turned out. Gloomy yeah?

Well, I started trying to figure out what was actually making me unhappy. I realized it was partially my heavy focus up on weight and food and partially how squashed I felt about all of my stuff. That’s when I started deciding that some changes needed to be made and figuring out how to address the problems I could identify and deal with.

I am trying to keep my weight down so life in a trailer will be more fun. I can’t imagine being the 200 pound version of me and being able to move around a trailer. My knees weren’t functioning well at 200 pounds and so getting in and out of bed was a problem on good days in winter so I know going up and down steps would have not been good. It is easier to feed myself when I am not in such need for massive amounts of food.

So, as I refocus on my goals, I will be working out 3 times a week doing just cardio and 3 times a week doing strength training, With that pattern in place, I will be in decent enough physical shape to enjoy my trailer in July. =)

I hope you are all chasing your goals!

 

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2 Responses to Losing Stuff, Around My Middle

  1. Ashley Druve says:

    Thanks for being so honest with us. I hope that your workouts go well and you reach your goals. Understanding ourselves is the most difficult thing I know.

    Just to let you know the link from wordpress reader does not work.

    • Some Art Teacher says:

      Thank you so much and I hope that I am growing towards that understanding. It is a life long journey I know.

      Oh no! I will try to fix it but will probably have to ask for help this weekend from my wonderful guy.

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