That Shit is Gross

So… Aspartame.. It’s E.coli poop. For real.. I looked it up.. and then kept looking.. and kept looking. I was hoping I was wrong and that this was just internet crazy talk. Eventlly I found the patent. Genetically modified E. Coli poop indeed.

On the bright side… I’m cured of my diet coke cravings forever. I am checked all my cabinets. I am cleaned out and cleared out. I lost my Crystal Light, some sugar free candies that didn’t use Xylotol, and those little Mios that flavor water. I would have lost some yogurt but I hadn’t made my grocery run yet. All in all, I lost around $30 to aspartame cleansing. Not as bad as I was worried about, and I haven’t had a diet Coke in 3 days now.

How did they ever figure out E. coli poop would be tasty? I can just imagine the “hey guys, try this” that must have happened there. Some scientist must have been playing crazy doctor and figured out the rats breaking into the lab were lapping up this E.Coli poop like it was the best thing in the world. From there I guess he contacted Wilber to ask the rat how tasty it was before trying it himself.
“Hey rat, why are you eating poop?”
“Omg dude, this is some sweeeeeeet shit”
“Do you think humans would like it?”
“Taste like sugar, you guys would love it, but you don’t eat shit”
“It’s ok little rat, we just won’t tell people. In fact, we’ll they’ll them it helps them lose weight.”

From then on, people ate shit and smiled thinking it would help them lose weight and the little rat and big scientist lived happily ever after.. Well until the rat died in some in humane experiment that was perfectly legal to do.

I spent time after this long story to look up what actually happened. Apparently some scientist was trying to make a stomach ulcer solution and after his hands were dirty, licked his finger to lift up a page according to Wikipedia. It is well sited there but since I can’t go check out those books late at night I’m going to have to take their word for it.

To make matter worse, there are tons of unhealthy side effects including dizziness, migraines and weight gain. I do have occasional migraines and struggle with my weight (one reason I was drinking diet drinks) but am going to just have to learn to drink more water and unsweetened tea. There are some sites that look legit and discuss how there are less correlations to cancer than we think and that it may not really cause migraines because people with migraines tend to have multiple triggers..

Either way, I am done with that shit. Thank you Zendelle for your suggestion on my post. You have saved me probably around $300 per year. ( I will still occasionally get a sugary coke..)

Well everyone.. are you still using aspartame? What artificial sweeteners are you using? Who is sticking to real sugar out there and are you still ok weight wise (if you’re ok saying). My mother and my guy are both still ok with drinking aspartame so.. I know many people are willing to over look gross factor for satisfaction.

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