Good day all!
So.. weightloss.. body image.. all of that is touchy touchy these days I know… And I want people to be happy with themselves. I’d also appreciate if that meant they could be healthy too. I’m not going to preach at any one though.. cause truth is, sometimes I miss being fat.
I’m 5 foot 4 inches. Two years ago I was 200 lbs. I lost 50 lbs in a year and worked very hard to keep it up. Lately I’ve slipped up 10 lbs but some of that I think is muscle (gym frequently this year) and my inches have only changed a little. I am healthier than I have been since 2006 and have been working out/eating better but..
I miss going to dinner and not thinking of the calories or points. I miss getting loaded potato skins for an appetizer, a bacon cheese burger during the meal with fries, and topping all that off with a brownie sunday or a rum and coke. Real coke, not diet.
I use weight watchers to try and “Gamify” the point keeping but.. Even if I save all my food points, I just can’t in my mind justify eating all of that in one meal anymore. Yesterday I may have teared up about this. Wanting to eat junk, the pain in my legs from working out, and my total frustration at the numbers on the scale not going down lead to me tearing up while eating out with my guy. I had to excuse myself to go wipe my eyes. I wanted a favorite of mine at the restaurant but couldn’t justify having it with my brownie sunday that I had been waiting for all week. This is how sweet my guy is, he suggests that I get it anyway. I have the room for it in my weekly points and I save them to use them. It’s not just that though. It’s just the wearing down of not seeing results I want from working out and knowing that with my body, if I want to eat any sort of crap food, I am going to have to work out 5-7 times a week for the rest of my life. I find that somewhat depressing even though I like cardio..
Has anyone else been struggling with keeping up with life changes they are making for themselves? I feel like I’m the only one missing my worse version of myself.